Fatherhood

When was the last time you thanked your dad for all that he does for you?

Often times we forget just how much our father does for us and our families as well as all that he teaches us. The role of a father is irreplaceable. Fathers teach us by their example in all aspects of life. We see the way that they interact with others and we too treat others the same. We learn to love and respect others by their example. Fathers have a responsibility to provide and protect their families. They can become more involved in their child's life and strengthen the relationship as fathers make the effort to spend time with their children. This shows the kids that their dad wants to be involved and loves them. In this way the father can learn more of his child like fears and dreams and sensitivities.

I am so grateful for my father and all that he has done for me and taught me. I hope that I will take after his good example as I have my family in the future. I know that his role in our home was significant and I am so grateful for all the sacrifices that he made so that we were comfortable and happy as a family.

Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

Who would have thought that communication could be so complex?! The words that leave our mouth is all that matters, right? Well that is not entirely true. There are three parts to communication: Verbal (or our words), non-verbal (gestures and body language) and our tone. Actually, studies show that non-verbal communication is 51%, tone is 35% and verbal is 14% of overall communication. Its crazy to think that more than just my words are interpreted by others. And if you think that is complicated, add on the fact that each of us interprets very differently. In my class we discussed how we each have our own code, in a sense. This can make (does make) life and relationships quite complicated.

We all desire to be understood. In our families we need to be able to have good communication skills in order to help and love one another. If we can take the time to truly understand others, and make as clear as possible our own concerns and desires, we can help the communication in our families. Many conflicts  arise because of miscommunication. I can even see this with my roommates now. The way something is said with a certain tone, or glare, can entirely change the meaning of a sentence, Its crazy isn't it!?!

This communication is daily, but there are also times when more in depth conversations need to take place. When big decisions are made in a family, things need to be discussed. But how do we go about it? Are we focused on compromising so that all parties are satisfied to the fullest, or do we look for a solution that is for the greater good, or rather, what God wants.  If each member of the family (husband, wife, son, daughter) can be open and express love for each other, coming to a consensus rather than a compromise will better family life. If we can learn to make decisions with the will of God in mind, we will, over time, loose selfish desires and be more willing to do His will.

The Family Under Stress

Life is full of surprises. Good, and often challenging and/or stressful. Sometimes we call these times a crisis. In my class, we have a fellow student whose first language is Chinese. Our teacher asked her to write on the board the symbol for the word, crisis. She then explained to us that it consists of 2 characters, one meaning danger, and the other meaning opportunity. It was really neat! If you think about it, a crisis is often danger or a threat to us as individuals or as a family. BUT it is also an opportunity. An opportunity to learn and grow and become better, stronger people, or to let it consume us and make us bitter and unhappy.

We have all gone through times of stress. Each person's and family's experiences are different, but we all go through it. There are two different types of stressors that we discussed in class; normative and nonnormative. Examples of normative stressors would be events like birth of a child, buying a house, marriage, moving out. While these things cause stress, they are expected. Nonnormative stressors are things such as dying young, divorce, abuse, illnesses. These things are not normally expected, and come as a surprise to us. I feel that nonnormative stressors often are more straining on the family. However, like I stated earlier, we have the opportunity and choice as to how we will react and go about the crisis.

If we are not careful, when these stressors come around, we could hurt our family systems and the unity that a family may have. Each action we make has an accompanied consequence. If we can remember to be kind and empathetic, communicate well, sensitive to others feelings and be compassionate, we can help keep clear and loving boundaries that help to strengthen and pull together our family. No time such as these, is easy.

I have come to understand and realize that these times of trial and heartache are for our good. It is an opportunity to become better, and develop more Christlike attributes. I know that there is a wise purpose in all that we must experience in this life. But ultimately we have the choice to make it a positive experience. We are loved. With our families, we can unite in a common love to help and strengthen one another and have the faith that God will take care of us as we do our part.

Fidelity

Marriage is not a contract meant to be broken at the first sign of trouble. Nor should an individual do things to provoke conflict. Marriage is between a man and a wife, and God. They share an intimate relationship. They mean the world to each other. That relationship, is the most important and precious relationship that exists in the lives of the both.

Complete fidelity in a marriage is key to it being a success, and raising a happy family. According to Webster's Dictionary, fidelity is the quality of being faithful to one's spouse. In my class textbook it defines the different ways in which we can be unfaithful. There is physical infidelity, romantic, technology, visual and fantasy. Often times we tend to think that the only type of infidelity is the physical, or rather sexual relations with another individual. However, this is not true. For example, co workers that spend a lot of time together may begin to feel comfortable around each other. But that may then lead to sharing feelings and things that are close to the heart. Intimate things. Such  things are to be shared with your spouse, not just any person that you work with. We must be courteous at all times, but remember that those things that are close to your heart should be shared with your significant other.

This may bring up the concern of good friends. Your spouse, I believe, should be your best friend. All other relationships are second in line. It may be easy, or tempting to confide in someone outside of the marriage, but this is in no way helpful. Things that go on between a husband and wife and their family life, should be kept within those bounds. If we can remember to talk about our concerns with our spouse, we will be able to resolve issues much more quickly.  There is no reason to trash talk your significant other when something upsets you. Remember, you fell in love with them and decided to marry them for some positive, happy reason.

Infidelity hurts families. Not only the couple, which is primarily affected, but also posterity. I feel that if we can remember to keep the marriage relationship intimate, just between the two, the relationship will be much more successful. We choose our companion, so stick to them, cleave unto them, in every meaning of the word. Communication is essential! Be faithful!