The Family Under Stress

Life is full of surprises. Good, and often challenging and/or stressful. Sometimes we call these times a crisis. In my class, we have a fellow student whose first language is Chinese. Our teacher asked her to write on the board the symbol for the word, crisis. She then explained to us that it consists of 2 characters, one meaning danger, and the other meaning opportunity. It was really neat! If you think about it, a crisis is often danger or a threat to us as individuals or as a family. BUT it is also an opportunity. An opportunity to learn and grow and become better, stronger people, or to let it consume us and make us bitter and unhappy.

We have all gone through times of stress. Each person's and family's experiences are different, but we all go through it. There are two different types of stressors that we discussed in class; normative and nonnormative. Examples of normative stressors would be events like birth of a child, buying a house, marriage, moving out. While these things cause stress, they are expected. Nonnormative stressors are things such as dying young, divorce, abuse, illnesses. These things are not normally expected, and come as a surprise to us. I feel that nonnormative stressors often are more straining on the family. However, like I stated earlier, we have the opportunity and choice as to how we will react and go about the crisis.

If we are not careful, when these stressors come around, we could hurt our family systems and the unity that a family may have. Each action we make has an accompanied consequence. If we can remember to be kind and empathetic, communicate well, sensitive to others feelings and be compassionate, we can help keep clear and loving boundaries that help to strengthen and pull together our family. No time such as these, is easy.

I have come to understand and realize that these times of trial and heartache are for our good. It is an opportunity to become better, and develop more Christlike attributes. I know that there is a wise purpose in all that we must experience in this life. But ultimately we have the choice to make it a positive experience. We are loved. With our families, we can unite in a common love to help and strengthen one another and have the faith that God will take care of us as we do our part.