Transitions in Marriage

Marriage is something that many look forward to. It is a common goal. To find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, settle down, start a family and enjoy life. But, as I have learned this last week and my eyes have been opened, there is more than just those happy an exciting moments. I feel that as youth and young adults we often only imagine and believe that with marriage everything will be butterflies and rainbows....all of the time. This belief is quite unrealistic.

As we go through the adventure of life, we are faced with many challenges, and with each new phase of life, comes new responsibilities. The same is true with marriage. You take two people from very different backgrounds and life experiences and conflicts are going to arise. They have to make decisions together, they have to rely on one another and grow together. They will not always see eye to eye on everything. You add on family traditions and customs, finances, goals and children and things can get hectic. I am not trying to scare you away from making the commitment of marriage, rather I am trying to inform and help you see the future from a more realistic lens.

Couples report high marital satisfaction at the beginning of the union. But, studies show that there is a decrease in satisfaction as the first, and second, and third babies are born. (And so on) Can you guess why? Well, you go from having attention fully on just the two of you, and then a little baby is thrown in the picture. This means all attention on the baby and his needs. Budgets get tighter as there is another mouth to feed. Stress is higher, and couples often feel that they cannot express those things to their spouse because they too have a lot on their plate.  Less sleep adds to more tension. There is less, just "you and me" time which means less bonding. Starting a family changes a lot. However, I know that children are a joy. They are a little piece of heaven. These things are for you to be aware of so that you can prepare. To expect the unexpected.

Let's prepare ourselves for these very important decisions so that we can raise successful families that will positively add to society.